Do you do it? Some may call it bed sharing. Others may call it co-sleeping. While I was pregnant with Happy Baby, I remember planning for him to sleep in our room after he was born…at least for the first couple of months. We purchased a travel sized pack n play that doubled as a bassinet to keep in our bedroom. I fully intended for him to sleep in this bassinet until he had grown out of it, at which point I would move him to his own room. We hadn’t purchased a crib yet…I knew he would be in our room for a while so we had plenty of time to find the perfect bedroom furniture for him. After he was born, it didn’t feel right to put him alone in that bassinet to sleep. This little baby (ok, so he wasn’t so little) was born in my bed (you can read all about my homebirth HERE). It only seemed natural for him to sleep here too. This started immediately, from day one. Everybody warned me. ”You’re never gonna get that baby out of your bed if you let him sleep with you”. This ain’t my first rodeo. I’ve been there done that. My first was a co-sleeper. Yes, it was a process to get her to sleep in her own bed. But it was far from impossible. She started sleeping in her own bed when she was ready (which happened to be around the same time that my 2nd child was born). My second child was an awesome crib sleeper, as was my third. Each baby is different. Some babies can’t sleep if they’ve got a partner in bed. Some babies have difficulty sleeping unless Mommy or Daddy is near.
About a month after his birth, my husband and I purchased a beautiful set of furniture for his nursery. This set will last him until he goes off to college and beyond. The crib doubles as a toddler bed and then converts to a full size bed. The changing table has a hutch and looks more like a wide dresser than a changing table. He’s also got a beautiful tall dresser and a night stand to complete his set. I had intentions for him to sleep in his crib when we purchased the set. He was still so small though, so my intentions were for that to happen “later”. Well, here we are 10 months after we bought that crib and 11 months after his birth. Happy Baby is STILL sleeping with Mommy. I cannot imagine waking up in the morning and not having him snuggled up next to me. I cannot imagine not having him wake up smiling and getting to see how happy he is after he’s had a full night of sleep. He giggles, smiles, waves and crawls all over the bed, so happy to wake up and see his Mommy (and sometimes his Daddy, too).
The crib, which remains empty each night.
I know the day will come when we will all be ready for him to transition into his own bed in his own room. Do I know when that will be? No. However, I do know that this is what works for us. I recently received an email from Babycenter (which I get each week to mark the milestones of my baby) and there’s usually “advice” from doctors and psychologists that are pertinent to your baby’s age and development stage. The “advice” this week was regarding whether babies should be sleeping through the night at this age. I was really disappointed that not ONE of the professionals that answered the question mentioned co-sleeping. One of them said this:
“But beware: If you pick him up, bring him to your bed, or feed him (unless he’s legitimately hungry), you’re going down a very challenging path.”
All three of the professionals quoted for this article mentioned going into baby’s room to check on him/her. None of them said what you should do if baby is waking while co-sleeping. Hmmm…
When Happy Baby wakes in the middle of the night, he doesn’t usually wake all the way up. Usually it’s just a squirm here or there, and he rolls over to nurse. I am usually able to remain mostly asleep for this. Many times I have no recollection in the morning of waking up to nurse him. My only clue will be my exposed breast when I wake up. My husband used to find this hilarious when he would wake up early to go to the gym. There I would be, all sprawled out, with just one breast popped out of the top of my tank top. I’m sure it was quite a sight.
So tell me, do you bed share or co-sleep? I’d love to hear from you!
My friend had her little girl sleep with her until she was two. My sister now has a a little bed next to theirs for her to sleep in.
It is whatever works for a family in my opinion.
I couldn’t agree more!
I usually start my daughter off in her bed and bring her to mine when she wakes up in the middle of the night or early morning. I love snuggling with her. People say I’m spoiling her but you know what, all kids grow up and don’t cuddle with you anymore after too long, so I’m getting my cuddles in while I can!
That is so true! Although, my 11 year old still would LOVE to share a bed with Mommy. She sleeps too wild though! Thanks for stopping by!
Baby boy shares a bedroom with hubby and I. He starts the night in his cot but by early morning he’s in bed with us because we are usually to tired to try and get him settled back into his cot after a night/morning feed, lol.
That would so be me, if Happy Baby slept in our room, but his own bed. I’m too lazy to walk across the house in the middle of the night to get him out of his room, nurse him, and put him back to bed. Co-sleeping is so much easier for us!
I bed shared with each of my kids. It is the easiest for breast feeding moms. Transitioning to their own bed was different for each of my kids. One made it more difficult than the others. I bowed to the griping of family members when I had twins and people told me it was “dangerous” to have my children in bed with me.
For an entire two days I put my twins down in a bassinet next to my bed. I stopped doing that when I woke up and found one in my bed and another nursing. I didn’t remember getting either one of my babies and I didn’t know which one was which. I thought that was more dangerous than a planned family bed.
My twins are now 11 years old and all of my children are very independent.
Thanks for posting this-too many women feel guilty for following their own parenting style. BTW I’m your newest follower! Come see me at http://www.myparentingcoach.com/blog
Brenda,
I totally agree that “sleepwalking” is more dangerous, especially when possibly carrying two babies while doing it! Thanks for stopping by and sharing!
Sebastian slept with us for a while but we had no problem transitioning him to his crib. He is now a very independent toddler and will not sleep in our bed no matter what. He wants his bed and that is that. I miss cuddling with him sometimes but I’m glad he likes his bed and that we didn’t have any trouble.
Hello! My baby slept with us till he was almost 4m. He is doing great slepping in his room now. I am your newest follower from the hop.I hope you get some time to stop by and follow me back at http://mommyhoodsdiary.com/ . I look forward to reading your posts.
Have a great week!
Thanks for stopping by and sharing!
I co-sleep with my 11 month old daughter. At the beginning being a new mom I was scared to crush her, so she sleet in her little basinet probably until 5 months. We haven’t bought a crib and don’t plan on it; just going to go straight to a bed! My husband sometimes wishes she was in her own bed because she takes up so much room for such a little person! LOL
This is a personal decision for each family to make. I know lots of families co-sleep now, so I’m kind of surprised the email you received didn’t touch on it.
Our daughter slept in our room for over a year, but she was in her own crib. I was more comfortable having her near us, and as long as I was nursing, I didn’t want to have to navigate stairs in the middle of the night. We sometimes brought her in bed with us, but for the most part she slept well in her crib. And, we rarely slept well if she was in our bed. She moves around a LOT! LOL
The exception I make is when she is sick. I always sleep with her then. When she was a baby, I’d bring her in our bed. Now that she sleeps in her own (full size) bed, I stay in her room to give her comfort when she is ill. And to be able to monitor how she is doing. No way I can sleep downstairs with my sick little girl upstairs. No way!
Stopping by from The Mom Pledge blog hop. Enjoyed this post!
My (now 11 year old) daughter was that way. I did co-sleep with her, but I never got a decent night’s rest because she is a wild sleeper. Still to this day she sleeps like a maniac! Thanks for stopping by, and for hosting the hop!
I didn’t co-sleep, but I have friends that loved it.
I was always afraid of rolling over on top of the baby! I had 5 of my own…tended to keep the cradle right next to my side of the bed so I didn’t have to go far however to feed the child!